Beautiful places

New pictures of some of my favorite places here.

Sing for me

I accompanied a master class for singers at a choral workshop in Sonoma last weekend. It was almost as if that were my regular job, which it isn't. I spent an hour or two the night before wondering who I was:

IF I can fill in for a master class, shouldn't I? IF I enjoy it, shouldn't I be doing it?

Am I simply a mediocre dabbler, who may as well stay outside the field proper and enjoy the world of music on his own terms? OR am I forestalling failure?

Why am I waiting for someone else to tell me that I belong there?

I have to be careful not to let my current job dissatisfaction trick me into thinking that the simple solution is to be an accompanist. (Last year, I might have thought the simple solution was to be a writer.)

My chief problem is to figure out how to have enough time to enjoy all of these things. I get ballistic sometimes, like last weekend, when dealing with the accompanist's embarrassment of having to practice relatively simple songs. "Well," I thought, "it's necessary since I haven't done this in six years and am way out of practice." Then I thought, "Besides, how good am I supposed to freakin be if I only get to a piano once a week?"

My time goes to the flute (practice and a lesson every week), two music friends (one full evening every week for each), a boyfriend, and of course eight hours each day to a regular old job. I realize I'm probably not doing the best job of planning my time . . . Goddamn dinner . . . apparently we have to eat . . . oh, for sustenance tablets . . . Dishes . . . Getting . . . old . . . sleepy at . . . 11 o'clock . . . So tired . . .

Regardless, I will look for ways to accompany. Please pass the word. I'm looking for paying work and nonpaying work that will help me prepare for paying work.

Always, always, always, we should be giving recitals.